Last week, I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I went to the funeral of a young man whose life ended too soon. He was a friend of my son’s, twenty-one years old, an Eagle Scout, a Christian. And yet, something in his life was terribly wrong. You see, it is believed he committed suicide.
And I grieve. For him. For his parents and siblings. For his friends. No one knew. He never said.
And I grieve for others like him.
So many people think they’re the only ones who feel the way they feel. They feel alone. Satan lies to them and tells them they are alone, that no one could possibly understand or even cares.
I’ve been there.
When I was a teen, I considered suicide many times.
I didn’t think my life mattered. I didn’t think anyone would care if I died. I didn’t believe anyone loved me. I was sad. I wanted to escape.
I never tried for one reason — I thought that if I died at my own hand that I wouldn’t go to heaven. In my adolescent mind, suicide was murder, one which I couldn’t ask forgiveness for. I wanted to go to heaven.
So I stuck it out. God got me through.
Now that I look back, I see that my life wasn’t so bad. My mom loved me the best she knew how. I’m sure my dad did, too, though he lived in another state, and I rarely spoke to him and only saw him four times between my fourteenth birthday and his death when I was twenty-seven (one of those was at my wedding).
And yet so many don’t stick it out. For one reason or another, they believe, falsely, that those around them will be better off without them.
But what they don’t see is the grieving family and friends left to wonder what could have been done differently. The tears. The heartache. The emptiness. The questions that can never be answered.
If you stumbled upon this post because you are searching for answers, let me tell you…
JESUS. Say His name. Ask for His help. He’s the only answer. HE LOVES YOU. No matter what you’ve done, how you’ve lived, how messed up you think you are. He loves YOU! Stop believing Satan’s lies. God loves YOU!
A few weeks ago, my pastor made a statement that fits here… Jesus came to earth for one purpose, and that purpose was you.
You only have to look around you. And even if you feel like no one in your world cares, I care. The volunteers at the Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) care.
Jesus cares. He sees your heart. He knows your hurts, your sins, and every other thing about you that you don’t want anyone else to know. He knows. And He’s waiting for you to ask for His help.
He saw my son’s friend’s heart. He knew the pain that young man was going through even if no one else did.
I can’t tell you if that young man will be in heaven. I didn’t know his heart. But despite my belief in my teen years, I do not think suicide will keep people from heaven. Not knowing Jesus as a personal friend, a Savior, and Lord will.
But that doesn’t mean you should EVER take your own life. God put you here for a purpose. He has plans for you. Good plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'”
Plans for good, to give you a future and a hope.
He had plans for me. Wonderful plans.
If I had taken my life during my teens, I would not have a wonderful husband or seven great children. I would have missed out on so much.
Has life been easy? No.
Has it been worth the struggles? Absolutely.
If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to e-mail me at ginger dot solomon at gingersolomon dot com. I won’t give you platitudes, but I will tell you about Jesus because I care.
Praying for you,