Without His Presence

I’ve been stewing on this blog post for several weeks now. I hope I don’t start rambling.

Recently, I read a series, The Books of the Infinite, by R.J. Larson. I enjoyed the trilogy, but something in Prophet hit a cord with me and hasn’t left me since.

I received permission from Bethany House Publishers and R.J. Larson to share this section with you. It is the Infinite (God) speaking with Ela, the young lady He has called to be His prophet.


Do you understand what My Presence truly means?

He had perceived Ela’s lingering doubts, she knew. “I cannot begin to understand—please tell me.”

It will be best for you to understand by experiencing Its loss.

Loss? Was He leaving?

I am leaving you completely alone now. But as I Am, I will return.

She felt His presence sucked from her body like air—saw it leave in a whirlwind rising above her. He was gone. No! Ela staggered, fighting to breathe. The mimicry of breath she finally managed was a searing torrent of agony. She tried to raise her hands to her throat, then comprehended that even the dust the Creator had used to sculpt her kind was incapable of holding form without His Presence.

She crumbled into the ground itself. Bereft of a body, her soul collapsed in fiery torment, screaming for death and for Him.

Chapter 3

The world around Ela vanished amid flames, leaving her writhing in agony. Without His sustaining Spirit, she could not endure this measureless cauldron of fire. Where was its end? Where was He? Why couldn’t she die? “Infinite! Let me die!”

A touch drew her soul from the fire, and her body from the dust. Alive, she lay helpless, her face resting against ash-tainted desert sand. Clawing the parched ground, which was cold in comparison to what she had just felt, she whimpered. “Please, let me die.”

What purpose would your death serve now? He seemed so near that Ela imagined she felt His breath restoring her senses. Her sanity.

She was trembling, unable even to lift her head. How was it possible she still lived? Who could exist without Him?

Not even those who deny Me can live on this world if I withdraw My Spirit, Creator murmured into her thoughts.

“I’ve never been without You,” she realized aloud, her voice breaking.


“Never leave me again!” she begged.

Never, He agreed. The word was a promise.

It’s a very powerful, poignant reminder that truly we can do nothing without God, as John 15:5 says. Our whole being, every breath we take can only be accomplished because He allows it. I’m just thankful that we also have His word that He will never leave us or forsake us, either. (Heb. 13:5)

And He loves us, in all our pathetic filth. Romans 5:8 says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (NLT)

Ps 91-4It’s a heavy thought for a Monday morning, I know. But I think it’s a great reminder that despite what we might think, or subconsciously believe, we can not accomplish anything on our own–not even take a life-sustaining breath. We require the hand of God in EVERY aspect of our lives–not just the big stuff.

We need Him.

I need Him.


Every second of every minute of every day of every year.

I never want to be without Him. Ever.

Thankful to be under His wings,

Blog sig white