Zoe McCarthy is here with us today, sharing a devotion about communication between men and women. Please help me welcome her.

Zoe M. McCarthy believes the little known fact that opposites distract. Thus, she spins Christian contemporary romances entangling extreme opposites. Her tagline is: Distraction to Attraction, Magnetic Romances Between Opposites. Calculated Risk is Zoe’s debut novel. Christian Fiction Online Magazine published two of her short stories. Zoe enjoys leading workshops on the craft of writing, speaking about her faith, planning fun events for her 5 grandchildren, and exploring the Blue Ridge Mountains, where she lives with her husband, John.

To find more about Zoe visit:

Website and Blog: http://zoemmccarthy.com 

Regular Contributor on Seriously Write

Communication Between Men and Women

by Zoe McCarthy

One theme in my book, Calculated Risk, is that poor communication skills cause difficulties in relationships. Near the story’s beginning after Nick leaves Cisney’s office, she says, “Actuaries! They should be forced to take remedial communication classes.” And near the end, frustrated Nick says, “You’re not such a great communicator yourself.”

Most of us think we’re good communicators, as do Nick and Cisney.

For a blog interview, my host suggested I close with a book-related question.  So I asked: “What is one thing you think improves communication between women and men?”

I invite you to peruse their responses, and the list I gleaned from Nick and Cisney. Are your communication skills weak in any of these areas?

Guest Blog Responses

Men and women should:

• Repeat what the other says when talking things out.

• Pray together over their concerns. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

• Free themselves from distractions, such as phones and TVs.

• Respect and value the other’s opinions, and listen more than speak. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

• Listen with your ears and heart. As a fair exchange–I speak as to my children–open wide your hearts also.  2 Corinthians 6:13

• Communicate face to face, instead of with texts, emails, letters, or cells. I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. 3 John 1:13-14

List Observing Nick and Cisney

• Don’t assume things about others. Hear them out or ask questions. He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.  Proverbs 18:13

• Don’t think about your response while someone is speaking. Listen. Your response will be better. A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions. Proverbs 18:2

• Explain information at your audience’s level of understanding. A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.  Proverbs 25:11

• Respectfully speak up when others cross your boundaries. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

• Don’t discount others as unable to understand your situation. Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6

• Mentally put yourself in others’ situations. Tell them what they need to know to help them succeed. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29

• Don’t wait until you think you’re 100% right before opening lines of communication. 

• Initiate conversations with others when they have information you need to know. “Queen Esther, what is your petition?” Esther 7:2

More about Calculated Risk:

Jilted by the latest of her father’s choices of “real men,” Cisney Baldwin rashly accepts an invitation to spend Thanksgiving weekend with a sympathetic colleague and his family. Nick LeCrone is a man too much her opposite to interest her and too mild-mannered to make her overbearing father’s “list.” Now, Cisney fears Nick wants to take advantage of her vulnerable state over the holiday. Boy, is she wrong.

Nick wants little to do with Cisney. She drives him crazy with all her sticky notes and quirks. He extended an invitation because he felt sorry for her. Now he’s stuck, and to make matters worse, his family thinks she’s his perfect match. He’ll do what he can to keep his distance, but there’s just one problem—he’s starting to believe Cisney’s magnetism is stronger than he can resist.

Purchase buttons for Calculated Risks:

http://zoemmccarthy.com/books

Thanks for sharing with us today, Zoe.  Do you have advice to add to the above about sharing with the opposite sex?

Blessings,