Transparency

This has been a rough year for me. Nothing specific has happened. No major calamities. And yet, I have struggled and continue to struggle daily.

I struggle with:

  • my quiet time
  • dinner preparations
  • homeschooling
  • organization
  • writing
  • loving
  • controlling my temper

 

In general, I struggled with LIFE.transparency

And if you follow me on Facebook or even read here regularly, you know all about my struggles.

But let me be clear. I DON’T share to receive your pity or to have a pity-party of my own. I share because I think people in general and Christians especially think that everyone else has a perfect life. They put on airs, so no one will know their struggles.

I share my struggles, so you will know you are NOT alone.

I sin. I ask forgiveness. I move on.

My family sins. I forgive. I move on.

Sometimes I HATE getting out of bed. I want to stay there and sleep through whatever the day might bring. I don’t want to fix everyone else’s problems. I don’t want to mediate arguments between my kids. I don’t want to check school. I don’t want to answer questions.

BUT I don’t stay in that place. I get up. I move. I fix hubby’s breakfast and lunch. I check school. I think about dinner. I offer advice to my twenty-somethings. I discuss issues with my older teens. I break up arguments between my young teens. I try to write. I think more about dinner. I read all the mess on FB and wish I hadn’t, and then I go back and do it again. I finally figure out what to fix for dinner. And somewhere in all of that, I pray.

And I do it all again the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

I’m normal. At least I think I am.

I don’t read my Bible as much as I wish I did. I don’t pray as often as I should or as soon as I should in certain situations. I don’t turn to God for answers as often as I need to. BUT I love Him with my whole heart, and He knows it, because He knows my heart. He counts the number of hairs on my head. And since we grow and lose hair daily, that’s an ongoing project. 😀 He loves me. EVERY DAY.

The least I can do for Him is live my life for His glory. If my transparency, my living my life wide open (to a certain extent — there are some things that just shouldn’t be shared), furthers His kingdom on earth, then I’m all for it.

I will show you my struggles, my sins, my doubts, and my joys, my successes, and the wonderment of my Creator.

mountains and valleys2You can’t know how high my mountain is until you know how low my valley has been.

It’s all in the perspective.

It’s all in how transparent we are. To God (He sees it anyway). To ourselves. To others.

You are not alone in your struggles, nor are you alone in your triumphs. I will cry with you, I will rejoice with you, and I will pray with you.

Let’s do life, together, sharing the good, the bad, and the down right ugly.

Blessings,

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