I messed up, dear readers. I forgot to get this posted for my usual Writer Wednesday post. So today, it’s Writer Wednesday on Thursday.
Gina Welborn worked for a news radio station until she discover the joy in writing romances. She’s the author of three short historical romances and five novellas, including the 2014 Selah finalist “Mercy Mild” in ECPA-bestselling Mistletoe Memories. She serves on the ACFW Foundation Board by helping raise funds for scholarships. She is also the webmaster for the Southwest Oklahoma Corvette Club. Gina lives in Oklahoma with her pastor husband, their five Okie-Hokie children, two rabbits, four guinea pigs, and a dog that doesn’t realize rabbits and pigs are edible.
Rules of Dating
by Gina Welborn
Somewhere during my college years, I had an epiphany that changed my life.
(1) Don’t date a guy who makes you feel stupid.
(2) Don’t date a guy you feel smarter than.
See, if a guy makes you feel stupid, then he doesn’t see you as a gift, a treasure, a beauty. If you feel smarter than the guy you’re dating, then you will eventually think you could do better and he will eventually sense your condescension.
Last month, my oldest daughter and I watched Bridget Jones Diary. I’d seen snippets over the years but not the movie in its entirety. Bridget fell for a guy who continually made her feel stupid, and then when a good guy came along, she transferred her own feelings of insecurity onto him and thus interpreted his responses—both verbally and non-verbally—as “he thinks I’m stupid.” By the time Bridget figured out how wrong she was about Mark, she went into I-must-chase-him-down-and-make-him-love-me mode.
Reminded me of a young woman that hubby and I know. Leah (not her real name) recently shared with us how her fiancé broke up only weeks before the wedding. What did Leah do in response? I must chase him down and make him love me. Her response only pushed him away more. Actually, keeps pushing him away because she’s still trying to win him back.
Women can be so stupid about men. We’ve bought into the lie that our lives will be complete if we can find that ONE person who will complete us.
Movies like Bridget Jones Diary and TV shows like The Bachelor only perpetuate this lie. Oh, I watch the show. My oldest daughter and I make a poster board. Names. Key details. We leave space to mark number of kisses and times said “here for the right reason.” When Barbour put a call out for submissions for The Most Eligible Bachelor Romance Collection, I knew exactly what I wanted the premise of my story to be about. A bachelor courts multiple women at the same time.
As I was writing Baker’s Dozen, I also re-read Stupid About Me: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right by Deborah Dunn. Falling in love is far easier than getting romance right. Compound that with a scenario where the bachelor is dating multiple women. My editor, Ellen, and I had a lengthy discussion about the ending of my story. She made a valid point about the expectations of the reader. A romance should end with the couple married, getting married, or at least engaged.
Life, though, isn’t a fairy tale, a romance novel, or a rom-com.
Before Bridget can get romance right, before the Bachelors and Bachelorettes can, before my leads Duke and Irie can, they need to get themselves right.
As Deborah Dunn wrote in Stupid about Men:
“Happiness is not about getting a man; it is about finding your soul. If you do that, then everything else will fall into place.”
And more about Baker’s Dozen:
Texas, 1910 ~ Twelve socialites vie to win the heart of widowed shipping baron Duke Baker, but his daughter scorns them, only spending time with the family cook. After four years of studying at Miss Farmer’s School of Cookery, Irie LaCroix wants to open her own cooking school. Could she give up a dream for love?
Part of: The Most Eligible Bachelor Romance Collection:
Here’s a romance collection that takes readers back to the gentler time of courtship and chivalry. Each of the nine story’s heroes has something special about him besides a handsome face—success, wealth, a beautiful home, a courageous heart, generosity, and more—but he doesn’t have the woman of his dreams. Still finding her is a challenge when all the local single ladies want to be with the most eligible bachelor in town, including gold diggers and charlatans. Readers will delight in following the journeys as each bachelor finds his bride through patience, prayer, and perfect timing.
Here’s where you can find out more about Gina, and her book…
Website – www.ginawelborn.com
Team Blog – Inkwell Inspirations – www.inkwellinspirations.com
Facebook Profile – www.facebook.com/ginamarie.welborn
Facebook Author Page – www.facebook.com/ginawelbornauthor
Goodreads – https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5424560.Gina_Welborn
Twitter – www.twitter.com/gina_welborn (@gina_welborn)
Pinterest – www.pinterest.com/ginawelborn
RETAIL LINKS (shortened for convenience)
Amazon – http://amzn.to/1v0xquA
Barnes & Noble – http://bit.ly/1t6uQVU
Bookshout! – http://bit.ly/1QCxi1E
Christian Book Distributors – http://bit.ly/RoZv2
Gospel Bookstore – http://bit.ly/1oLTUmz
IndieBound – http://bit.ly/1KXZrwL
Parable – http://bit.ly/1J6tK5x
Vyrso – http://bit.ly/1PCKHEs
Thank you, Gina, for joining us today.